I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
