my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
