She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
