the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
