You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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