using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
