she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just want to make out with him forever
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
