omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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