I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
