Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
