6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize