just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
