A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's blow job season.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
