I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
