4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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