I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
