dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
