is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
