We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You dont lie about slip and slides
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
