so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
