I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
