3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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