i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
