Already got asked if we're dating
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
