dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
