some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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