No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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