She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
