so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
