this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
