I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
