I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
