Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
porn star boner night. come get it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
