Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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