Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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