I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
