i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
