How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Vodka?
Forever.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
