I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
