I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
