i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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