You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
