You made me cry and you don't even care
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
