U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
not ubering you a puppy
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
