You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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