idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
