well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm just crazy horny about you
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
