I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Did I show you my penis last night?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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