I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
