You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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