Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
